Some days you get reminded that your human and not super woman, and cancer gives you a serve to remind you. Had a rough morning, the herbs get the better of me sometimes. Let alone I have spent the weekend immersed in making medicine tools....playing with so many animals you sometimes forget how much they effect your vibration and push another shedding of layers....snake being in my hands for the last 2 days. While driving to pick up crystals, I found myself thinking about my father, and that two more great grandchildren are on their way, and he hasn't met any of his great grandchildren, or his grandchildren, let alone have anything to do with his children....A man who shaped my being, that i took years undoing and healing, and becoming me. But it surprised me that he looms in my thoughts today, not sadness as he chooses this separation, not his children. The answer came later.
I took myself to the beach to cleanse and ground, find solitude for myself. Allow Tangaroa weave his magic, swallows 3, weaving their magic around me. Baby scallop shells collected for tool work in the future and a visit to sister She Oak to see if any wood had fallen in the winds over the weekend, but she held strong and weathered the storm, another reminder, im just passing through the storm, end in sight and my body is healing.
Home to do more animal medicine work and put the crystals I brought out in the sun, then i took time with self to lay down in a grid, with crystals and my cow horn upon my heart and drifted into a meditation......oh my wave after wave of coldness, went through my body, cutting.... feeling attachments removing from my masculine, still holding old stuff towards my father, released. More crap flying off me, allot not mine, my body dropping in feeling into deep coldness. The waves flowing, feeling like Tangaroa was there cleansing me, washing away all that is not mine. Another reminder of the elements and how powerful they work and that more often I need to lay with the crystals and let them and my medicine tools clear me and charge me. To take time at the sea to breath and feel Tangaroas power in his element.
To allow myself be human and a learning about slowing down. For me I have always done everything myself, just get on with it that kiwi can do attitude but I cant do it all and keep pushing my bodies boundries. I need to relax its all good......So I thank the Universe for showing me what I needed to see today, and the gift of medicines in all its forms. Arohanui