Way of the Medicine Woman
Last night, I came home and just sat in silence for the evening. The truth is, you are never in silence when you live in the bush, the frogs and the crickets were my song. But I needed no white noise. I had just had acupuncture session and my body was in full process of treatment and emotions that I have been feeling over the last 2 weeks.
Being still is not my process, but lately this stillness has been needed. The Universe even saw to it that I needed to sit still, wham I am unwell. When you start the process to remove blocks that are so old, some were lifetimes ago, some are this lifetime. The healing process is intense, but its as you balance and get your grounding, you see the flow and the doors opening before you. Now this is overwhelming and even anxiety has paid me a visit. Now I’m the girl that sometimes has more balls than some men, and run at walls with my horns, at times without thinking, and in my makeup, my mind is telling me “there is nothing I can’t do”, I have walked through life like this, a tornado in my own life, never afraid to try anything, except jump out of planes and bungy, lol I find this hilarious as I write this, considering what I have got up to in the last 51 years of my life. But being overwhelmed and anxiety have been with me of late. These feelings have made my AF trip the light fantastic at night. My heart beats this bizarre beat that is not measured. I do have calmness around this, as my blood pressure is most excellent. Its funny what the body does when feelings you do not normally experience come visiting. And I focus on the breathe, bringing calmness into my whole being.
Yes, I know what is causing my anxiety and being overwhelmed. As I have some decisions to make, and the reality of it, is stepping out of the norm totally and following my path and the journey that I am here to do. Yes, this scares the fuck out of me, I dislike letting people down, but in the process, I am in fact, letting myself down if I do not do what’s right for me. I know that this anxiety is the battle I have within, around loyalty to myself and my path before me. My playing field is wide open, so open its fucken scary.
Being grounded and sitting with animal medicines have been most needed. Locking the bloody monkey up, shoving a gimp ball in its mouth, so I can truly hear and feel my direction, and listen to the signs all around me, that are directing me, Tawny being the latest guide to point the way, and if I do not hear him, he will shove me hard. Then the Kooky’s all turned up here this morning singing their hearts out to me- go after what you really want, Mother pouring the rain down to cleanse me and Wallaby reminding me I have the tools to go forward. Then along comes fly, annoying me, to I hear its medicine, the ability to greatly multiply prosperity, endeavours, and ventures at enormous rates, as soon as I heard him, he left me alone. Yes, when the animal kingdom goes out of its way to slap me stupid, I still get overwhelmed, but I am taking some deeps breathes and forming my game plan, but I acknowledge them, and are incredibly grateful for their support. They have been my constant teachers, support and cheering squad.
I bow my head in deepest respect to Mother, you are my temple, my grounding, my teacher. With you at my side, I have got this.