Little old thing called Anxiety

Went for a job interview yesterday, out Noosa Heads. Was calm and collected driving out, done interviews lots of times. But when I entered the Day Spa and got greeted by the manager, my heart started racing, skipping beats, anxiety kicked in, she left me to relax while her replacement turned up, I couldn't get these emotions to stop, breathing, I was wondering why is this happening. I need this extra work at the mo, breath Steph you have got this. We go up to a closed bar, where the questions start-as this is how they interview. Thats when my honesty kicked in. Why did I choose this job to apply for-because I need work, Best and worst bosses was next, and it continued, at first she was a bit taken back by my honesty and frankness. But she thanked me for it. She failed to recognise my own business which I have run part-time for over 20 years in 2 countries. Next came the job requirement-permanant part-time, I'm cool with that, 12-36 hours per week-nothing guarenteed, the 36 only over christmas, every 3rd weekend off-bad, give up my work in Montville(best contracting money ever) ,I would have to cancel my fairs....had tears in my eyes, now I know while my heart was beating and skipping, and anxiety had kicked in.....moving states, rebuilding my business and staying true to my path and passion, was a road block in her eyes. I felt my heart sink, I need this work yet it would mean canceling my next 3 fairs, the platform for relaunching me in another state. I was breathing deeply. At this point she stop the interview, and asked if I was truely interested in this job, with my heart in my throat I said no, and explained that I didnt move states to give up on my passion and my bliss for work. My heart was fully racing. She accepted this, and told me of a on-call position also available, would I apply for this, I said yes but love it when the reply I have more interviews to do, and all will be considered. Thats to be expected. I left the interview relieved in many ways, the moment I step out of the Hotel, my heart relaxed, the anxiety left and I felt calm. I'm proud that I was honest and stuck with my passion, still have to find more work. I'm grateful for the work I have in Montville, great bosses and right now I'm trusting in the Universe that they have a game plan sorted. Came home and searched for jobs, applied for 5. And headed to my workshop to create, finding joy in this and a soothing of my soul. I realise that these are tests for me, to hold my path, trust in it, but man does it like throwing curve balls at times. Money to survive is a hard one, rent to pay, bills to pay, these keep us on the merry-go-round, but I'm having to look at money from another angle, its energy, and the trick im learning is to see it as positive energy not a need and a stress. So im trusting and working with my Regeneration Healing Book, and believing in myself. Haven't travelled all these miles to give up now. So don't give up on your dreams, trust in yourself and go after it, because your heart and the Universe wants you to do this. Keep playing your song to fear, because you will win, if your heart is in it 100%. Arohanui

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