The Power of Healing

This weekend was powerful, humbling and painful. My inner knowing knew what was coming. I got judged, I got the door shut because I walked a different path, because I was spiritual and that someone couldn’t see pass this. I keep an open heart when a man comes into my life, as it’s what I see inside, is usually my draw card, his soul and his heart. I also know, no matter how much we have worked through our stuff, there is always more suitcases to unpack, because those triggers, usually can’t happen to someone walks in our life, that triggers us then. Fuck he triggered all mine, made me feel like a mad woman, needing my straight jacket to comfort me, and the wanting to pack away all those triggers. That I was willing to make room, to balance my life so I could have time with this beautiful man. I have to respect his journey, his path and him, doesn’t denotes how I feel about this. Friday night I got some very direct messages on my journey, I was deep- his face was there, bright as and I was being told to surrender to him, as I have never surrender to a man, silent tears flowed for most of this journey, as I felt my heart crack right open, and love pour in and out. And still the silent tears flowed. I felt love for this man on a plane that rocked me to my core. Not the in love, but just pure heart space love. That I had acceptance of him, and our different paths, different outlooks but I felt very blessed that he had walked back into my life. Felt we weren’t so different, it was just the paths we walked. Then the next day, the crumbling, the hurt, the insight came, and I knew. he ran, blocked me out, judged me as someone who could not be part of his life because of the path I walk. The hurt came, and I looked at my journey from the night before, as what the fuck, to find total heart space within myself with him, then to get shut down. Tears flowed, as I deeply had to pull deep, as we still had another night to go, which came with more triggers- someone’s ego, and somehow I know it’s all linked, because ego confronts you, when it’s not something you dig. When it can disrupt all, where within any walk of life, there is ego and narcissism, and yes the spiritual community is full of it, but so is any other walks of life or groups. It’s what we chose to let in, it’s how we allow this to effect us. To shut someone out who hadn’t hurt you or done anything bad, confused me, hurt but if anything I have been shown this weekend, is to keep my heart open, that all this is reflections, that all this is growth. And that I just keep walking forward and trust in my journey🙏🏿 That I have no regrets, as he is still a beautiful man, and I thank him from my heart💜