Have you ever

Have you ever held on to your past, like a armour, to keep you trap in ways, to keep you in self-sabotage ways. This is me, when man enters my life, I pull this armour on, so afraid to let man in, so scared to be with a man in ways, keeping my heart protected, even though my soul is screaming at me to stop this but no, self-sabotage keeps going. Pushing hard. But then there is the other side, man seeing past this armour, seeing what’s truely within you, seeing this sabotage happening, pulling you on it, standing in his power to help you stand in yours. To see your weaknesses, but to not be afraid of you. Growing balls to see you, and not be afraid of you. I pose this is what my journey was about last weekend, the art of surrendering, the art of letting so, letting go of the story I have woven about me, that armour that I hold tight to. For fucks sake Steph-you have no fear about hitting the road and crossing aussie(a few times now), moving states or countries and starting again, starting your business in another state but you let a man scare the fuck out of you, and step into old habits. I’m seen as strong, but I’m trying to get it right, and trying to break my armour, and this is my lesson now, in amongst the hurt I feel right now, is to own my bullshit, own all of me, even the fear. So today starts the dropping of my armour, standing naked in myself and allowing me to be, fully in me. I’m getting off this roundabout. Ready to not be afraid of letting someone in. Arohanui